It's not easy eating clean

Are you one of those people who's tried to jump on the clean eating bandwagon, only to fall off -- and be run over by it -- almost as quickly as you hopped on?

With all of the pretty pictures of green smoothies and colorful raw veggies being posted all over the internet by people touting the benefits of "going green" with your diet, it's easy to become overzealous.  We hear stories of amazing health improvements and body transformations that happen as the result of eating nothing but organic this and raw that.   We get excited.

Really excited.

Before we know what's happening, our image of our future selves -- sporting our new sparkling clean intestines, glowing skin, and size 0 jeans -- has taken over our sensibilities.  We're tossing out every box of crackers, every package of Oreos, every 6-pack of diet soda in our kitchens to make room for all of that organic produce and purified water we're going to be eating and drinking.

Uh huh.  OK.

I will state right here and now for the record that, if I could, I'd be all over that way of eating like white on rice like green on spinach.  It's the right way to eat for optimum health.  Our bodies were not made to process and store preservatives or chemicals or trans fats or artificial anything.

But I sure do like Diet Pepsi.

And chocolate cake.

And Red Vines.

If you have the willpower and focus to go completely green, I think that's fan-flippin-tastic.  It's the best thing you could do for your body.

But you're here.  Reading this. Because you need to lose weight.  So it's probably a safe bet that, before now, willpower and focus haven't been your strong points.

That's OK.  You're working on that.  WE are working on that.

If you're busting out of your clothes and barely fitting through doorways because you have a penchant for Twinkies and Pringles and greasy cheeseburgers, making the leap from Quarter Pounder land to the world of 24/7 organic-everything is likely going to land you on your face.

For weight loss, I think 85-15 is a good rule.  Make 85% of your food pure and healthy, but allow yourself that less-than-pure 15% in the form of Zebra Cakes or Funyuns, or whatever your vice may be.

Who doesn't love Funyuns?

The recipes I will occasionally post here will follow that 85-15 rule, for the most part.  I might even use butter or REAL cheese now and then.

GASP!  What did she just say?

I said butter and cheese.  Get over it.

I might bake it instead of grilling it.  I might sautee the veggies rather than steaming them.

In my book, a dinner of baked chicken breast and sauteed veggies beats a 1,500 calorie binge at the local burger joint any day of the week.

We're not trying to be perfect here.  Just better.  A little better every day.
Don't doom yourself to failure by biting off more kale than you can chew.

No more excuses

Remember that one time you woke up and thought to yourself, "It's a great day to be fat!"?

Me neither.

I'm probably going to get a few angry comments for what I'm about to write, but this little blog of mine will be a completely disingenuous endeavor if I don't share my true feelings ... about EVERYTHING as it relates to how I feel about weight loss and my body image.   

I frankly am fed up with all of the new age, self-love garbage out there that tries to encourage us to settle for less than our best.

"I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it, people like me."  

BARF.

If you are going to get real about changing your body and improving your health, you had better be prepared to pass some harsh judgment on yourself.  Stop listening to those Pinterest signs that tell you to just learn to love and accept your fat rolls and that everybody's bodies are different, so you're OK the way you are.

GAG.

Is it all right for OTHERS to judge you based on the size and shape of your body?  Absolutely not.  They likely will now and then, but that's something you'd better be able to live with if you're going to just accept yourself the way you are.

But YOU judging you is another story.  Not only is it OK, it's necessary.  

OWN what you're doing to your body.  

OWN what you're doing to your spirit.  

OWN the fact that you are driving the nails into your own coffin with each Oreo you stuff into your pie hole.

OWN what you're teaching your children about being unhealthy and sitting on the sidelines.

OWN the damage you do to your marriage and/or other important relationships by being less than the person you are meant to be

Giving up and settling does NOT equal loving yourself.  How does shortening your time on earth with your family and diminishing your own quality of life equal self-love?  

Telling yourself you're OK the way you are is just a big, fat, lame excuse.  If you're like me, it's one of MANY excuses that has gotten you to this point in your life.

The theme running through the current season of The Biggest Loser is "No Excuses."   I like it.

Nine years ago, I lost 60 pounds and I felt great. I looked great.  Because I was still young-ish and had been pretty lazy and eaten pretty badly for my entire life, the shock of adding exercise and portion control to my lifestyle caused the weight to just melt off of me.  It took work, but it was relatively easy and quick.  I kept it off until a couple of years ago, when I let the stresses of life get the better of me.  I gained it back and then some.  

When I decided a year or so ago to start again to try and take the weight off, I found that my body was not responding like it had that first time around.  It was hard.  I was working hard and eating right and the weight would not budge.  Not only have I been unable to lose, but I've slowly gained.  I'd be lying if I said I haven't shed many tears and felt much frustration over this.  I can honestly say that I probably work out harder/more  often than most thin people I know, and I probably eat better than most, too.  Many people have suggested that it may be out-of-whack hormones that are thwarting my efforts.  From what I've seen with other women, I believe this could realistically be the case.  

BUT ...

Fixing my whacked hormones costs money that I don't have right now.   I could toss my hands in the air and feel sorry for myself and decide that this is just my lot and it's not my fault and I need to love myself the way I am.  

OR ...

I can work harder than most people have to in order to see the change I want and need, whether I think it's fair or not.  I can love myself enough to do that. 

No excuses.

Stop lying to yourself and saying it's OK to stay where you are.

It's not OK to sit on the couch while your kids are begging you to run around with them.

It's not OK to put yourself at risk for stroke, heart attack, diabetes, cancer, and premature death.

It's not OK to wear clothes you hate just because you think they hide what you don't want the world to see

It's not OK to watch life pass you by because you're too fat to get out there

It's not OK to be unhappy when YOU have the power to change it

Love yourself enough to hate what you've done to your body.  

I don't care if you're fat because you have evil hormones or your mom was an alcoholic or you're stressed out because your dog doesn't like you.  Take your hormones and your mom and your dog for a nice long walk and get over it.

No more telling yourself it's OK.  No more excuses.

You don't have to be a supermodel or Olympic athlete or Sports Illustrated cover girl.  Whatever your best is, find it and become it.

Owning it

How to start your weekend off right:

1.  Kick a workout pledge's butt.  40 minutes of cardio--high intensity intervals on the bike, treadmill, and stairs (I have SERIOUS exercise ADD--I have to change it up a lot) with 47 bonus push ups.  Note that you all "only" got me up to 39 minutes, but I added a minute just to make it all pretty and even.

Well, you can see how it ended.

Maybe pretty isn't the right word.

2. Step on the scale (did I really just say that?). Saturday mornings are weigh-in time.  The last time I weighed myself was five days ago on Monday.  I'm happy to report that I'm down 4.6 L-B's from Monday.  

I'll own that. 

When's your weigh-in day?  Whenever it is, I hope you plan to own it.

The First Workout Pledge -- YOU are the boss of me.

Don't get too excited about that title.  You are only TEMPORARILY the boss ... of my workout.

I stole this idea from my pal Tyler over here.  Thanks, T.

I'm not wasting any time with this public accountability stuff.  Day one of being out there and I'm jumping in with both cankles.  It feels good.

You get to decide how much cardio I do this Saturday morning.  Here's how it works:

-Leave a comment anywhere on my blog to add 30 seconds to my workout.
-Become a blog follower (PUBLIC, not private) to add 30 seconds.
-Repin my workout pledge pin on Pinterest to add 30 seconds.
-Link to my blog from your blog to add 1 minute.
-Get your friends to "Like" my Facebook page and I'll add 30 seconds for each like.
-Post my blog link (NOT my Facebook page link) on your Facebook wall along with your personal endorsement and I'll add 2 minutes.
-No, this is not retroactive.  Only new comments/likes/links count!

You have until 8:00 p.m. my time on Friday to get this done.  No pressure.

Keep in mind, I already work out hard (hard for me anyway) for 30-60 minutes six days per week, so it's gonna take some serious  linkage and likeage to give me a challenge.  Send your friends on over here and let them boss me around ... for a little while anyway.

And by the way, in case you're wondering what you'll be inflicting on me, my cardio usually consists of high intensity interval training on the treadmill (inclines 'n all), spinning bike, and punching the daylights out of my heavy bag (No, I don't mean Rick).

Make me work.  I dare you.

I ain't skeer'd.

Make-aheads are your friend

Another recipe for the kitchen haters.

Make-aheads are a great little trick for us kitchen-hating-wanna-be-healthy people.  Make a bunch of food all at once and eat it for the rest of the week, cutting down on future prep time.

Ah, such a simple concept, right?

But when overeating is your downfall, a huge pot of anything can sabotage your portion control efforts.

For example: You make a crockpot full of beef with the intention of feeding your face with it for several days, only to find yourself in a meat coma 30 minutes later--standing over an empty crockpot with  juice dripping from your chin and not the foggiest clue what just happened.

The eater's remorse takes over and you drown your guilt in a few Dove chocolates.

And by a few, I mean the entire bag.

My way around this?  Dish out your portion and put the rest away in the fridge or even the freezer before you even sit down to eat.  That's it.  Out of sight, out of mind.  Eat what's in front of you and move on.

Step AWAY from the Tupperware, Chubs!

Anyhoo ...

I made one of my favorite make-aheads tonight.  This time, I took the picture myself - as opposed to stealing it from Google images - so that you can see why I don't take pictures of food, or why I shouldn't be allowed to.

Green Chili Chicken

Preheat oven to 375

Ingredients

3-4 boneless,skinless chicken breasts, thawed
1 TB olive oil
Pat of butter (optional)
1 small can diced green chilies
1/4 c. diced onion
Salt

Spray bottom of a baking pan with cooking spray.  Place the chicken breasts in the baking pan and bake for approximately 20-25 minutes, or until ALMOST completely cooked (an ever so slight tinge of pink left inside).

Remove the breasts from the oven and cut into small pieces.  Heat oil (and butter, if desired) in skillet over medium/high heat.

Once butter is melted or oil is heated, add chicken, chilies, onion, and salt (to taste).  Reduce heat to medium. Continue to cook and stir until chicken is slightly browned and cooked through.

All done.

You can eat this alone with veggies (boooooring) ... or ...

Do what I do and put it into a whole grain tortilla or a couple of corn tortillas and sprinkle a small amount of grated cheese, oodles of chopped lettuce, and salsa  (oooh, I have a recipe for fresh homemade salsa that will rock your socks.  I must remember to share).

This chicken is also yummy (or as my husband says, "tight") on top of a tostada shell with some black beans and a little cheese and a tiny dollop of reduced fat sour cream.

I love having this super easy make-ahead chicken on hand for when I'm in a hurry and don't want to spend too much time in the kitchen -- which is pretty much kind of always.

On Kitchen Hatred

Are you a kitchen hater?

I am.

I hate cooking, which is at least partly how I got to be where I am now.   It's a lot easier and faster to whip up a batch of  #5 combo meal from Burger King than it is to prepare chicken breasts and chop vegetables and then ... GASP! ... cook them over medium heat for an hour.   An hour?  That's like, 60 whole minutes!

Me and Immediate Satisfaction have had a very tight-knit relationship since my childhood.  We're like husband and wife.

Really dysfunctional, overweight husband and wife.

I recently broke up with Immediate Satisfaction.  I may occasionally go back for a meaningless one-night-stand or a nooner here and there, but we will never again be in a long-term relationship.  He's just not good for me.

I know many of you who are starting a weight loss journey -- whether for the first time or the gazillionth time -- struggle with your hatred of cooking.  You want those healthy, Martha Stewart-looking meals with the fat,  juicy, grilled chicken breasts and vegetables and herbs and pretty garnishes on the side, but you're either not good at it or you just don't have the patience for it.

Or both.

I feel your pain.

I've been told by a few that I'm really good at cooking ... when I choose to do it.  I have those few dishes that I do well and I like to stick with those.  But I HATE/DESPISE/LOATHE spending a lot of time in the kitchen.   I want the pretty results without the ugly effort.  

Wow, that sounds painfully familiar, right?

I'm learning that it's possible to make simple, healthy dishes that don't take a lot of time and that can even be done well by the dumbest and most talentless of wanna-be-chefs.   (Thank you, Pinterest.)

Now, when I say "simple" and "don't take a lot of time,"  I'm not pulling your chubby leg.  I mean it.

I like it fast 'n easy, baby.  And yes, we're still talking about food.  Get your mind out of the gutter.

So, one thing I plan to include on this blog is the occasional SIMPLE, QUICK, HEALTHY recipe.

Keep in mind that "healthy" is somewhat relative, depending on the plan you're following.

After trying everything under the sun, I came to the realization that my body has a severe addiction to sugar and bad carbs.  Most of my excess calories were coming from carbs--chocolate, bread (lots of bread), chocolate, crackers, chocolate, chips, chocolate -- you see what I'm saying here.  You can read about my plan over in the sidebar.

Now it's time to share my very first "recipe" post with you.  I put that in quotes because I'm not sure anything I post here qualifies as a recipe.  The ingredients are few and simple.  I. Don't. Do. Complicated.

Baked chicken breast and green beans

p.s.  I'm not good at taking pictures of food. I tend to eat it before I get the chance.  So I steal other people's photos.  This one looks pretty close.  (Remember my first post?  I said "brutal honesty.")

Trust me on this, even if you think you don't like green beans (I never did), you are going to LOVE these.  The flavors of the bacon and onion come together so beautifully that even my seven year old eats these.  If I could marry them, I would.

Ingredients:

-2 slices uncooked bacon, chopped
-1/2 c. diced yellow onion
-1/2 c. water
-Fresh snap green beans, ends removed (how many you buy is up to you--I like to make lots at once for leftovers)
-Boneless, skinless, chicken breasts (again, the quantity is up to you)
-Paprika, salt, pepper to taste

Preheat oven to 375
1.  Place chopped bacon and onion in a large saucepan and cook over medium or medium high heat until bacon is sizzling and nearly cooked through
2.  Add water and green beans to bacon/onion mixture and turn heat to low.
3.  Cover and cook until beans are tender.  Depending on how many beans you have, it can take up to 45 minutes or more.  Watch your water level in the pan.  Add more if the bottom of the pan goes dry.
While those are cooking ...
4.  Place chicken breasts in baking dish (I prefer glass) and salt/pepper/paprika both sides to your liking.  Generously always floats my boat.
5.  Bake for about 30 minutes, depending on thickness.  Turn once during baking.  Breasts are done when they're no longer pink inside. (I know, duh).
6.  When green beans are done, generously salt and pepper them and stir them well to get them coated with the seasonings and with the flavor from the bacon and onion.
7.  Put it all on a plate and enjoy.

See how painless that was?  You can add tons of flavor to your cooking without getting complicated.

I have lots of easy little gems like this.  Stay tuned ...

Day one post - A bucket list for the rest of us

 I hear a lot of talk these days about bucket lists.

We humans have an innate desire to experience something other than the every day.  We make mental lists of all the stuff we’ll get out there and do in the hopes of feeling more alive before we’re … well … dead.

-Backpack Europe
-Bungee jump
-Write a book
-Sky dive
-Win big money on Wheel of Fortune (hey, you have your wish list, I have mine)

If you are very overweight, chances are you have your own kind of bucket list.  If you’re a chubby girl like ME, your list is made up of the kinds of things that all those evil skinny people probably do every day and never think twice about:

-Fly without worrying about fitting in the seat or needing a seatbelt extender
-Pass by a group of teenagers at the mall without fear of being insulted or laughed at
-Walk into a restaurant without silently praying that you’ll fit in the booth
-Never give another second thought to climbing a flight of stairs
-Wear smaller size clothing than your husband
-Fit comfortably in movie theater seats
-Go to the beach
-Visit an amusement park and ride ALL of the rides because you fit in them
-Never again hesitate to sit on a lawn chair because you worry it might break
-Be in the front of the family photo instead of hiding behind kids, walls, or furniture
-Walk through Walmart without breaking a sweat
-Feel calm when stepping on the scale at the doctor’s office

I could go on and on.   And if you’re overweight—really overweight—so could you.  You know you could.

And if you CAN'T relate to this list, good for you.  Glad you're healthy.  But at the very least perhaps it will help you gain a little understanding and compassion for those of us who ARE fighting this internal battle.  For the most part, we keep it to ourselves--except, of course, when we're blogging about it for the world to see.

A fat person’s bucket list is all about conquering fear.  At times, painful, crippling, debilitating fear.

Fear of living the life you want to because your body--or your perception of it--won’t let you.

I don’t know about you, but I’ve had it with fear.  I’ve had it with living half a life.  I’m ready to give fear a big fat high five … in the face … with a chair.

So where do I start?  I start by telling you all how much weight I intend to WILL lose

I'm starting with 80 pounds.  I'll probably want to lose more, but we'll see how I feel, physically and emotionally - once I've made it that far.

80+ extra L-B's on a short little frame like mine is just not pretty.

So what can you expect from me from here on out?

   1. Honesty.  Brutal honesty.   No one ever made real changes in their lives without first facing the tough realities and being honest with themselves.

   2. Weight loss and lots of it.

   3.  Accountability.  I'll weigh in here weekly and hope you will, too, if you're on the same road as I am.

Join me, won’t you?  I’ll share if you share.  The small setbacks and the big victories.  We’re going to have both, guaranteed.

Comments are a must in this setting. It’s really not fair if I share and you don’t.   So be a team player and hit that comment button.

Let’s change our lives together, one baby step at a time.  Let’s cross those items off our bucket lists, one at a time.  When it’s all over, you can jump out of an airplane and I’ll kick butt on Wheel of Fortune.

What are YOUR fears?  Which bucket list items will YOU cross off when you've finally found your courage?

Ready, set, GO.                                            Read more posts ...