Living your truth

The latest buzz phrase that I hear going around these days, mostly among women, goes something like, "Live your truth."

At first I found this annoying because, well, I thought it was stupid.  What does that even mean, anyway?

But the more I think about it, the more I understand it. I suppose it could mean different things to different people, but to me, it would have to mean living my life in a way that makes me feel good and doing the things that would truly make me happy without concern for what others think of me or how they might judge me.

When you battle with your weight and all the demons that come along with it, living your truth can be a tricky thing.  Your truth wants to go to the beach, but your thighs are screaming something about next year being your year -- you didn't quite lose the weight in time for this summer's swimsuit season.  Your truth wants to order that super cute wrap dress you saw online, but your mirror convinces you that you won't be doing that poor dress any favors by pouring your oversized hiney into it.  Your truth wants to hike up the side of a mildly intimidating mountain, but your pride worries about how embarrassed you'll be when everyone's passing you up so you can stop to catch your breath every 3-1/2 minutes.  That includes the people on crutches and the folks on the field trip from the nursing home.

Go ahead, laugh.

I'm sad to say that I can't remember a time when I have ever lived my truth.  Fear has a funny way of preventing me from doing that.  I mean, look at that lady up there.  Does she look like she gives a rat's about what anyone thinks about her boobs being barely 30% contained and her cankles going straight up to her bellybutton?  Nope.  Girlfriend is livin' her truth, right down to the sassy red nails and the freaky BluBlockers.

Oh, to have such courage.

What does living your truth mean to you?  And how are you doing it, or at least working at it?

Sitting bad. Moving good.

The last seven days have been marked by some varying moods.

Saturday: Confused
Tuesday morning:  Frustrated and really mad
Wednesday morning:  Hopeful
Today:  Happy

If you recall last Saturday's post, I was confused at how I had managed to lose weight when I'd done a total of ZERO workouts and eaten the number of calories equal to the population of New York City.  You think I'm exaggerating, don't you?

Based on lots of helpful comments following that post, I came to the conclusion that it was all of the extra moving I did while moving.  Pun absolutely intended.

From Saturday to Tuesday, I had cleaned up my diet and started working out once again.  Here comes the "frustrated and really mad" part:  I got on the scale Tuesday morning after being a good girl for a few days and found I was UP three pounds.  UP is the opposite of DOWN.

So I took to heart the idea that all of the moving moving was what did it.  I was sitting less -- a LOT less -- and on my feet for nearly 6-8 hours every day after work during those two weeks.  Not killing myself with jumping jacks and push-ups, but not sitting on the couch watching TV like Jabba the Hutt, either.

To clarify, I'm a mother of four.  I am not lazy. I don't spend THAT much time sitting around like Mr. Hutt, because I'm cooking or doing dishes or helping with homework or running errands or doing laundry or a hundred other tiny things that moms do.  But I still sit more than I should.  I justify this by telling myself that I get up at 4-blasted-30 in the morning to work out hard, and then I go off to work and earn a paycheck (sitting at a desk for several hours at a time, mind you), and then come home to all of the stresses that home life can bring. So darnittoheck, why shouldn't I be allowed to just sit here and let my brain - and backside - turn to mush in the evenings?

Because that's not working for me.  That's why.

There's a cool infographic going around the WWW these days that contains some pretty alarming facts about what all of the sitting we do is doing to our bodies.  Our ancestors did not sit in cars, on buses, at desks, or even on stationary bikes, for crying out loud, back in the day.   They were on their feet from morning til night.   And few of them were obese.  All of this sitting is bad for our joints, our muscles, our hearts, and our lungs.  Oh, and it's making us fat ... and sick.

So I've decided that my friends are pretty wise.  If they say it was the moving that made me lose the weight, then by golly I'm going to believe them.  Hence Wednesday morning's hopeful mood.  I was ready to give this a try.

Since Wednesday morning, in addition to my daily workouts, I've been adding more movement to my daily routine.  I'm getting up from my desk frequently and doing squats, wall push-ups, and other embarrassing things that nobody should really do in front of co-workers.  Luckily and for their protection, I have my own office.  With a door that locks. And blinds that close.

It's spring time and the weather is amazing.  I work on a beautiful university campus.  This gives me every reason to get out and go for a quick walk at lunch time.

Did I lie?  Told you it was pretty.

I've been taking the time to go for walks around the neighborhood with my kids - and our really dumb dog -  in the evenings.

Less sitting.  More moving.  Who knew?

As for today's happy mood, that's a result of stepping on the scale after my workout this morning.   From Tuesday to today, I managed to get rid of those three pesky pounds ... plus another one for good measure.  That's four pounds gone in four days' time.

Total lost thus far:  15.2 lbs.   That's like 3 bags of sugar plus a few tablespoons.

(pausing for applause)

I'd love to sit around and entertain you with my musings all day, but it's Saturday.  Time for Jabba to get outside and play with the kids - and that dumb dog.  I think we might go chase ducks or something.

How do YOU incorporate more movement into your daily routine?

Say NO to store-bought

I love a good salad and would eat them so much more often, if only store-bought salad dressings didn't suck so much.

I'm always looking for new dressing recipes.  I have probably spent thousands of dollars on store-bought dressings in my lifetime that end up sitting in my fridge until they go bad because I took one taste and hated them.

I've decided that salad dressing is just too expensive to take such risks anymore.  I'm getting old.  I'm all about the sure thing these days.

So when I stumble upon a salad dressing recipe that is

1. Easy to make and
2. Deelicious

 I get positively giddy.

I found one last week that begs to be shared.

Balsamic Honey Lemon Vinaigrette

(I didn't take this photo.  Photos of food don't happen at my house because my camera is a phone and because I get overly excited and eat it before I think to photograph it.)

-3/4 c. canola oil
-1/4 c. balsamic vinaigrette
-1 TB honey
-1 TB lemon juice
-1 clove garlic, minced
-salt and pepper to taste
(I used garlic salt--couldn't tell you how much--sorry--in place of the fresh garlic and the salt.  I don't have a lot of love for messing with real garlic.  I know I should, but I just don't).  And please, spare me the comments where you try to convert me to real garlic and tell me how real cooks use real garlic.  I've never professed to be a real cook.  Not ever.

You could probably use Stevia in place of honey if you're trying to reduce the sugar factor.  

Like I said in yesterday's post, I drizzled this over some baby spinach/green leaf lettuce, craisins, almond slivers, and crumbled feta and it was heaven in a bowl.

You're welcome.

The Eat-Crap-and-Lose-Weight Diet

Now that the worst of the moving ordeal is over and I'm feeling about 60% "normal" again, I'm feeling ready to get back to this weight loss business.  I've worked out hard the last two mornings and have been packing healthy food to take to work with me (yesterday's lunch:  leafy greens, pecans, dried cranberries, with a delightful little homemade balsamic vinaigrette drizzled on top).  Ahhhh, vegetables.

Mostly out of necessity and pure exhaustion, my family's diet over the last couple of weeks has consisted pretty much of pizza, cereal, fast food, pizza, bagels, pizza, and pizza.  And working out?  Yeah, right.  I give myself credit for all the hard work I've done packing, sorting, cleaning, and now unpacking, but there was no intense, sweat-dripping, face-reddening, heart-pounding exercise anywhere in there.

I was afraid--really afraid--to step on the scale this morning to assess the damages and see how much extra work I'm going to have to do to repair said damages.

What I saw when I stepped on that scale made me exclaim the following (give or take a few gratuitous farm words):

What in HELL'S BATHROOM is going on here?


Remember those 14.2 pounds I had lost before my moving nightmare began?  Well, they're still gone. I've stayed nearly exactly the same.  Keep in mind, though, that I really HAVE NOT stayed the same.  I know for a fact that there were about 5 or so pounds gained somewhere in there, because I got on the scale and saw them.


This means that I have essentially LOST weight over the last two weeks while eating Burger King "tacos," (that's in quotes for a reason, people), Sonic cheeseburgers, Little Caesar's pizza, Wendy's chicken nuggets,   Zingers (oh how I love those spongy rectangles of lemony goodness), and pretty much anything that did NOT look like a fruit, a veggie, fiber, or a lean cut of protein.   Oh, and let's not forget the complete absence of intense exercise from my life during this time.

So I repeat:  What in HELL'S BATHROOM?

Can some please explain to me what is wrong with my body?????   Anyone?  The universe, Mother Nature, evil P.A. lady who gave me phentermine, Zackie the evil personal trainer, ANYONE?????


OK, I joke about this and say most of it very tongue-in-cheekish, but REALLY!  This leaves me completely confused and not knowing where to go from here.  As frightened as I was to step on that scale this morning and discover the reality of the damage I thought I'd done, I'm equally as frightened now to eat healthy and work out!   Doing the latter always seems to leave me feeling like I'm in some kind of a war with my body and my brain.  I do things like putting spinach in a blender and drinking it, packing nuts and fruit for work snacks, drinking enough water to have me peeing every ten minutes ... and yet ...

Fattening, disgusting, nutritionless GARBAGE seems to be what does it for me.   Oh, and substituting extra sleep for exercise.  That also seems to be working.

I could reeeeeally use some words of wisdom right now.  This battle wearies me, and now to come off of a two-week fast food binge devoid of exercise only to find that I've LOST weight ... well ... I just don't know what to think.

I want to put good things in my body.  I feel better when I do.  But why do those good things seem to be hindering my efforts rather than helping them?  What am I missing here?