Days 4-7: Catching up

The past few days have been so busy that I've completely forgotten about my little blog.  At first, I tried really hard to think of something that I have four of so I could just count that as four things - one for each day that I've missed - and call myself caught up.  But alas, it seems that I mostly have either one, two, or ten of everything.

Day 4:  Day 4 was Thursday, and since that was the day I took part in one of my most beloved rituals - getting my hair cut and colored - Day 4 seems like a good day to be thankful for my hair.  It's frizzy, has waves in all the wrong places, and has thinned considerably with every baby I've brought into the world.  BUT ... with a little gel, a blow dryer, and some time with a round brush and flat iron, I can usually turn it into a head of hair that would make my hairdresser proud to claim me as a client.  I'm thankful for her, too, by the way.

Day 5:  Monkey toes.  Yep, I have monkey toes.  Don't know what monkey toes are?  Well, according to my parents, who lovingly gave mine that label early in my childhood, if you have a giant gap between your big toe and second toe, you have monkey toes.   Yes, you could drive a mack truck between my monkey toes and yes I have a hard time getting my flip flops to stay on, but I've seen some seriously funky looking prehensile toes out there that make my monkey feet look like super model feet.  I'll keep my primate digits, thank you very much.

               

Day 6:  Teeth.  Six or seven years ago, you would NEVER have heard me say anything positive about my teeth.  My top front teeth were crowded and crooked and, for lack of a kinder term, SERIOUSLY jacked up.  No, I have no pictures.  I didn't allow it.  I was SO very self conscious about showing them to the world.  Every time I talked to someone, or got up and spoke in front of a group, I just knew they were focusing on my dental problems.  If they weren't, *I* was.  

Enter Dr. Angel.  No, that wasn't just a nickname I gave him because he saved me.  Dr. Angel is the actual name of the actual orthodontist who fixed my teeth, sans surgery, when every other dentist had told me it couldn't be done.  It was an uncomfortable, annoying, sometimes painful, and always expensive 22 months, but the day those braces came off and I walked over to the ortho office mirror to see my teeth for the first time, I cried.  I still find myself admiring them in my mirror from time to time because I can't believe they're so pretty and they're MINE!  I love my snappers.

Day 7:  This weekend is what we Mormons call conference weekend.  It happens twice per year.  All 14 million+ of us get to skip church and listen to our leaders speak to us via TV or the internet.  As I'm reminded of where I came from, why I'm here, and where I'm eventually going (hopefully), I am very grateful for the knowledge that my body is a vessel - a temple - that houses my eternal spirit.  I'm grateful that a loving Father in heaven created my body for a purpose, to give my spirit a place to dwell while on this earth and to have all of the amazing human experiences that only a physical body, imperfect as mine is, could give me.  Now, it's time to get ready for more conference weekend ...

Day 3: Scars are only scary in Disney movies

Sometimes we need subtle reminders of the times we've fallen, scraped our knees, put a gash in our foreheads, or even been cut open by a surgeon for the sake of saving our lives.

Scars are good like that.

I have a few.

See what I did there?

Of course there are the stretch marks and the big fat c-section scar that remind me that my body was strong and healthy enough to bring children into the world.

There's the big quarter-sized scar on the inside of my thigh from that time I had a showdown with an angry dog ... and lost.  That nasty little beast took a big juicy chunk right out of my leg.  Not my favorite way to lose fat.

There is the lovely scar that starts behind my hair line and runs down the middle of my forehead, along with the various large and small scars along my left arm and shoulder from the time in my 20's when my little Hyundai was struck by a guy running a stop sign.   Rumor has it I got to ride on a helicopter, but I don't remember any of that.

I have a few freckles and moles from too many sunburns.

I have a toenail that will never NOT be ugly because of some weird tumor that tried to grow underneath it back in the 8th grade.

I could go on forever, baby, but let's just say that I'm oddly appreciative of and intrigued by my scars.

Some of mine remind me that I did something stupid and never want to repeat it if I don't have to (read:  taking on a ferocious watch dog).  Some remind me that I got pretty banged up through no fault of my own, but came out alive on the other side.  Some remind me that sometimes the body just gets sick and needs the healing abilities of someone smarter and better equipped to fix the problem than myself.

Physical scars are proof that the body has an incredible capacity to heal its wounds and get on with life.

Emotional scars are like that, too.  We get beat up, do dumb things, or just get sick sometimes, but whatever doesn't kill us makes us tougher and hopefully wiser.



photo credit:  http://fanpop.com

Day Two: Functional Fingernails

I've always really liked my fingernails.

I can remember receiving lots of compliments on them as far back as elementary school, probably because they were always long and painted.  I liked to keep them filed and polished, even in my pre-teen days.   I managed to keep that up all the way into my late twenties when, as many women can probably attest, my days of manicures and sparkles and high gloss came to a screeching halt with the birth of my first child.  It turns out that stuff like poo and pee and dish water and bath water and other various fluids that come with out of kids aren't so conducive to having pretty nails.

Nowadays I like my fingernails for different reasons.  Now that I don't worry so much about how perfectly polished they look, I'm finding they're quite functional and practical.  They're great for removing steak from between my teeth or chiseling some unknown, hardened substance off of my kitchen counter, tightening those dang pot handle screws that always come loose, or for getting keys onto key rings.   Ugly and snagged for sure.  But totally functional.  

Stop judging me on that steak thing.  It works when nothing else does.

photo credit:  photo credit: http://www.lovethispic.com/image/37343/mickey-mouse-manicure-art

Day One: I love my uterus

On day one of accentuating the body positive, it seems only right to start with the largest muscle in the female body - the mother of all body parts - the uterus.  MY uterus, specifically.  I mean, why on earth would I be thankful for YOUR uterus?  I'm sure it's very nice and you like it a lot, but I have no feelings about yours one way or the other.

MY uterus, on the other hand, is responsible for having sheltered and grown and ultimately ejected into the world four of the cutest, squishiest little humans I've ever had the pleasure of knowing.  I was blessed with healthy, full-term, relatively uneventful pregnancies.  I was able to see their little hearts pulse on the ultrasound screens and feel their kicks and hiccups in the middle of many a sleepless night.  I know so many women whose hearts ache to have that experience but may never.  It's not something I take for granted.  Not only is my body a blessing and a miracle, but thanks in large part to a properly functioning uterus, I was able to help create and carry around a few little miracles of my own.

Yep, my uterus is pretty nifty and, cramps, bloating, and other unpleasant stuff aside,  I'm pretty thankful for it.

Coincidence that the uterus looks like a super strong buff dude?  I think not.

My little miracles.  A few years post-uterus. 

Dear Body: Sorry I Was Mean to You

Sundays always somehow end up being a day of reflection for me.  Maybe it’s because I get to attend church bright and early and be reminded of all the ways I want and need to improve my spirituality.  Maybe it’s because I have a little more quiet time on my hands than I do Monday-Saturday.  “Quiet,” incidentally, is a relative term when you have four kids bouncing off the walls and banned from their beloved electronic devices for the duration of the day.  But still, the hectic running-from-one-thing-to-the-next pace slows way down on Sundays.  I like it.

Today, like many, many, MANY Sundays before, I’m thinking about all the ways I’m going to be nicer to my body in the coming week.  “Nicer” is also a relative term here, since there’s usually a lot of tough love built in to my weekly planning.  A little harder with the cardio, a little heavier with the weights, a little lighter on the calories. 

I’ve spent a lot of years – close to thirty of them – hating my body and thinking less-than-charitable thoughts about it.  Thanks to my brain, my body gets bullied by me in ways I would never dream of bullying another human being.

“Why do you have to be so ugly?”

“Do you realize that most people probably can’t stand the sight of you?” 

“Nobody will ever date you or marry you.” 

“I’m embarrassed to be seen with you.” 

“EVERYONE is embarrassed to be seen with you.”

I’ve somehow managed to convince myself that if I ever stop noting all of the things I hate about my body, it will mean that I’ve given myself permission to just give up and be overweight and be OK with that – something I am simply NOT willing to do.  Complacency got me here.  I refuse to let it carry me further into the abyss of depression and severe health risks that come with the continual packing on of pounds year after year.

BUT … what if I could work diligently and consistently on trying to be healthier while still appreciating those things about my body that DO serve me well?  What if I could be grateful for what good it DOES help me accomplish day after day rather than focusing obsessively on how it hinders me? 

Can I still love all of the wonderful things about this divinely-created vessel, this miracle that I’ve been given, even though it’s a work in progress?  Yes.

Do I have to wait until I’ve reached my idea of perfection before I can appreciate it for all that it does for me RIGHT NOW, TODAY?  No.

On this day of reflection, I have given myself permission to love what I HAVE while working toward what I WANT.   But just like the nerdy kid who’s been mercilessly tormented by the bully day after day, year after year, my body needs to know I mean it.  A mere “sorry I was mean to you” isn’t gonna cut it. 

So … to show this vessel that I truly am sorry and want to be kinder and gentler, I’m committing to thirty days of charity toward my body.  We will still work out together, sweat together, drink obscene amounts of water together, make multiple middle-of-the-night trips to the bathroom together, and say bad words together when passing up that piece of chocolate cake or eating our 37^th carrot stick for the week.  That won’t change.  What WILL change for the next thirty days, however, is that I will take the time to thank this body of mine for all that it helps me do and be day in and day out.  I’ll rejoice publicly in this miracle that I’ve been given and in the fact that, miraculously, it still manages to be kind to me in spite of the many years of bullying it’s endured from me.

Tomorrow begins 30 days of positive, grateful thoughts about my body.   My hope is that it will help my overall attitude and success in my journey to be a healthier, happier woman, because I am so much more than a bunch of numbers that try to tell me how to feel about myself.  

photo:  turbocharged.us.com

Transformation Tuesday - Angel T.

It's not Tuesday but I don't care.  Any day of the week is a good day to read about another human's weight loss success.  Am I right?  Am I right?

Today's transformation story is a little bit dirty:

Angel started out at 216 pounds after a pregnancy.  Now, at about 138 pounds, she's discovered a love for playing in the mud.  

Angel says she has been big nearly all of her life and had tried Atkins, herbal drops and even diet pills, but nothing brought her the results she wanted.  Finally, after watching people around her lose a lot of weight and growing tired of that dreaded roll that spilled over her waistband every time she sat down, she decided to take some action.  

She joined Weight Watchers and followed it for about nine months.  She was three months into it before she started exercising due to a prolonged surgery recovery.  She remained strict with her diet for those first three months, then added the treadmill and a weekly cheat meal to her plan.  Now, some of you may find this discouraging, but she says she ate A LOT of broccoli.  Sorry, broccoli haters.  I guess the green stuff can't be avoided if you want to get into those skinny jeans.  

After 9 months and a 50 pound loss, she kicked it up a few notches by hiring a trainer.  She says she cannot believe the results she's achieved and the things she's able to do now.

"In July my sister signed me up for the mudathalon, a 5k with 40 obstacles," Angel says.  "I was so nervous!  I am not much of a runner, but I could not believe the things I was able to do.  I could climb and jump over walls and climb ropes.  Who would have thought I could do such things?"

She says she has done several mud runs since then and she loves them.  While she's proud of the fact that she's down to 15% body fat, she also loves how happy she's feeling since losing so much weight.   She says:

"I am HAPPY! I have always been pretty confident but now I am extremely confident. Believe it or not I am now in the process of getting my own personal training license and am looking for a career change in weight management.  I have so much energy.  I feel younger than I did when I was 20!"

Her advice is to stop looking at your eating plan as a diet but rather to simply focus on changing your habits long-term.  Oh, and get off the couch!  That's her other piece of advice. 

As for Angel, she's traded her comfy couch for a slimy mud pit ... and she's loving every minute of it.  

Transformation Tuesday - A Look Inside

I know you all have been holding your breath waiting for my next big transformation post, but while I'm waiting on my current victim to finish answering my interview questions, I thought I'd share with you a little somethin' somethin' I came across a few weeks ago:

First of all, is it just me or does this picture I kiped from Amazon look like an invitation to look in her pants?  Hey, whatever gets you to buy the book, I guess.  Out of sheer curiosity, I clicked the link and it doesn't take you to the inside of her pants.  But I digress ...

Anyhoo ... I am currently having a love affair with this book.  It's a glorious mix of snark, wit, and reality.  If you've struggled with weight issues and all the emotional crap that comes with it for years and years and years ... you will LOVE this book.  I feel like she crawled inside my brain and stole all my thoughts and feelings.  I'm not finished with it yet, but when I do get a chance to sit down and read it, I have a hard time putting it down.  This girl just "gets" me.  I highly recommend it.  It's an entertaining read.  If you want to know HOW to lose weight, you may want to head on over to the Richard Simmons section.  That's not what this book is about.  This is more about how she dealt with her feelings as an overweight person and as an overweight person trying NOT to be an overweight person.  Plus, reading about a girl who lost 200-ish pounds after carrying them around for most of her life is just plain motivating and inspiring, if you ask me.

I would add, too, that if someone you love is fighting this battle, this book will give you insights that can help you have a little more understanding and compassion for that person's very real everyday struggles. Along those lines, and all joking aside, I think the "Look Inside" icon above fits perfectly as an advertisement for what this book provides.  If this is your struggle, you'll get a glimpse inside yourself.  If this is the struggle of someone you love, you'll get a peek at how it feels to be him/her.  

CLICK HERE for more about the author, Jennette Fulda.

Transformation Tuesday: Amberlee Booke

Amberlee Booke

5'5"

Highest weight:  200

Current weight:  134

Total lost:  66

One goal of mine in writing these Tuesday posts, besides inspiration for myself and others, is to show that there are all kinds of methods out there for losing weight.  No program is the "right" program.  If it works for you and it's improving your health, it's the "right" one.

For some people, a program with pre-packaged foods and personal coaching can provide a much-needed structure and accountability.  Today's success story, Amberlee Booke, was able to regain her health and confidence with just such a program.

Amberlee gained her weight after getting married and experiencing a great deal of stress at her job.  After developing a habit of skipping meals all day followed by eating nothing but junk in the evenings, she found herself carrying 200 pounds on her not-so-tall frame.  She saw herself in a picture one fateful day and decided it was time to make a change.

"I was determined to prove to myself that I could do it," Amberlee says.  "I followed the program 100%.  Didn't cheat once. I'm still proud of myself for that."

(Did she say she didn't cheat once?)

Since her program of choice requires eating a protein and vegetable meal each day along with the pre-packaged items, she found herself struggling to eat enough meat.  Remember, this was a girl whose main food group consisted of junk food, so adding protein was quite the challenge.  She says she was ready to quit.

"I was able to have a health coach and friend to help me through it.  I'm so happy I didn't give up!"

In 7 months, she'd lost 66 pounds and hasn't looked back.

Amberlee appreciates everything about her new life.  She was happy to fit into pants she hadn't worn in years, but thrilled when those became too big, too.  At 28, she is wearing a bikini for the first time in her life.  She has energy to try things she would never have dared to before.  She is more happy and confident than ever.  That confidence has helped her get through some hard times recently.

"I recently went through a divorce and I know it helped me through it because I believed more in myself.  If I'd still been heavy, the weight would have been just one more thing I hated about my life."

Amberlee is excited now to be passing her new healthy lifestyle habits onto others.  She has helped her dad change his life as well by coaching him to a 110 pound loss.  She has also become a coach for the program that helped her lose her weight.

"I love helping people believe in themselves, too!  I'm not perfect every day but now know the habits to a healthy life.  I won't ever let myself get back to where I was before."

If you'd like more info on the program Amber followed, contact her at ambshealthyhabits@gmail.com.

Transformation Tuesday

I'm still waiting on my next TT subject to send me her story, so in the meantime, I'm  lusting over all the cute outfits in my future.

I think Fall fashions are my faves.  I love layering and dark colors and boots.  Oh how I love a cute pair of brown boots.  But alas, that love is not reciprocated.  It's a one-way crush.  Until my calves shrink, the cute brown boots just don't love me back ... yet.  Stupid calves. Unrequited love is just, well, sad.

 I am in love with these colors. ^^

This outfit is so cute it brings me to tears.

 Just kidding on this one.  Wanted to make sure you're paying attention.

Which skinny outfits are you lusting after?

Workout Pledge Wednesday

It's been a long time since I've done one of these.  Come to think of it, I'm pretty sure I've only done it once.  But I'm ready for another one.

If you've ever wanted to annoy me, or if I've wronged you in some way and you feel the need for revenge - this is the post for you.  Perhaps I've corrected your grammar one too many times?  This is your chance to punish me.

The workout pledge this time involves push ups.  You should know, I hate push ups.  But they're good for me, so I'm letting you help determine how many I end up doing this Saturday morning.

I'll do my normal cardio/resistance workout, but I'll tack on additional push ups as follows:

-For every comment on this post - 2 push ups
-For every new like on my Facebook page (I'm currently at 93 likes) - 3 push ups
-For every share of my Facebook workout challenge post - 2 push ups
-For every Pin of this post on Pinterest - 2 push ups
-AND ... if I get up to at least 150 total Facebook likes by Saturday morning, I'll add that many push ups to the workout.  So ... if I have 150 likes, I add 150 push ups.  170 likes, 170 push ups.  See how that works?

OK, people.  Make me work.  And be sure to let me know on Facebook which of the above you did ... and ... Go!

Transformation Tyler ... er ... Tuesday

This week's transformation story is about a friend who's been an inspiration of mine for a couple of years now.  In fact, he's been an inspiration to thousands.  He's even been on TV 'n stuff.  Yeah, he's cool like that.  And since I know him, that means I'm cool, too.

Tyler started out at 344 pounds back in January of 2009.   He'd been heavy from childhood to adulthood.  After a few wake up calls a few years back, including a scary trip to the ER, he finally determined to get the weight off once and for all.

He wasn't messing around.

In six months he lost 100 pounds.  Within a year, he'd lost roughly 132 pounds.

No pills.
No powders.
No surgery.
No Jillian or Bob.

Tyler's approach is a little different than all the eat clean/juice fast/ditch the carbs/workout til you puke approaches flying around out there today.  He's a huge (well, not literally anymore) proponent of counting calories.   In other words, eat what you like but eat less of it.  Move more.

I know.  It's pretty complicated.

If you ever talk to Tyler, he'll be sure to let you know that he lost 100 pounds in six months by eating cheeseburgers, pizza, and cake.  He wasn't much of a celery sticks and raw carrots kinda guy.  He used the elliptical. He got outside and played.  Eat less, move more. The end.

He added in some accountability by blogging about his experience.  He started off with approximately zero followers and before he knew it, he had thousands.  Am I jealous?  A smidge.

As the popularity of his blog grew, he decided it was time to write a book about his journey from overweight kid to fit, healthy husband and father.

I may have edited said book, but I don't wanna brag.

I love Tyler's story because he's a regular guy who was really, really heavy and turned it around.  He proved that you don't need to live off of seeds and sprouts or spend your child's college fund to lose weight.  Common sense and hard work paid off in a big ... or small ... way for him.

In short, he's a success story.

You can read more of his story by visiting his blog at 344pounds.com.  Our His book is available on Amazon here.

Blueberry Cucumber Smoothie

Being that I'm childless until the weekend, I can get away with "cooking" meals like this one for dinner.  I was a little apprehensive about a smoothie with this much cucumber in it, but this was actually quite nummy.  It has a really refreshing, light taste to it, without being too cucumbery.   Best part: it's easy peasy.

I used:

1/3 cucumber (peeled)
2/3 cup frozen (or fresh) blueberries
1/2 cup light Greek yogurt, vanilla or plain
ice
water
A little Stevia if you want it sweeter

Put it all in your Nutribullet, or some other blending apparatus, pour, and enjoy.

Transformation Tuesday

Once upon a time, I was going to start a hip, happenin', "Transformation Tuesday" trend on my blog.  I always have the best of intentions, but those intentions always seem to be thwarted by:
   
     1.  Other people (my subject matter) having lives and not doing what I tell them to (kidding, mostly)
     2.  Me

So here we have my second installment in the well-intended Transformation Tuesday series.  And let me tell you, this girl is awesome.  From here on out, she shall be referred to as my cousin Jenni, even though she's technically not my cousin.  But she's married to my cousin - and I like her a lot - so that's close enough.   She gets to be my cousin.  That is all.

Height:  5'4"
Highest weight:  195
Current weight:  138

For starters, here's what Jenni used to look like:

She had been overweight most of her life and, like a lot of mama bears, had three babies, gained pregnancy weight, and struggled to get it off.  She had the added challenge of being diagnosed with hypothyroidism, which only aggravated the issue.  After baby number three and a run-in with a pair of size 16 jeans that refused to button, she decided she was ready to make some changes.

Jenni says:  I have tried just about everything to lose weight. I started out with Weight Watchers, which was great for learning better portion control and did help me drop some weight but wasn’t the best program for learning about healthy eating, in my opinion. I tried HCG (yes, yes, I know you’re all shaking your heads right now), but this was actually HUGE in helping me get on the right path. While it wasn’t a long term solution (and how could it be when you go from eating 500 calories a day back to eating like a normal person?) it taught me about eating the right foods and self control. 

Jacey says:  I love her wisdom here.  She tried different things and, though they ultimately weren't right for her, she took something from each of them that would help her.  Instead of viewing these "experiments" as failures, she learned from them and put that knowledge to use.  Way to go, cousin Jenni. 

Things really started clicking along when she began a combination of regular Zumba classes (Zumba?  ACK! I forgive you for that, Jenni) and focusing on what she was eating.  She says she's grateful to have made friends at the gym who were willing to share knowledge and ideas with her.  She began eating 6 small meals per day (I forgive you for that, too, Jenni) and drinking crazy amounts of water.  She lost 25 pounds quickly but then hit a plateau and became frustrated.  

Jacey says:  I can relate - to the part about being frustrated, anyway.  Some day I hope to relate to the 25 pound loss.

Cousin Jenny before - with my actual cousin, her husband

Jenni says:   Then one of my friends, a very knowledgeable certified trainer developed a program called Revolt Fitness and I started doing it.   I had previously been what the fitness folks refer to as a “cardio queen,” meaning all I really did was cardio workouts. On Revolt I do cardio circuits 3 days a week which combine things like burpees, squats, mountain climbers, and planks and I do weight lifting 3 to 4 days a week. I also add in extra cardio like sprint intervals or Zumba, and try to lift as heavy as I can. My meals on Revolt consist of 6 small meals a day (the program provides customized, weekly, clean eating meal plans), no refined sugar or white flour, and 1 cheat day a week. I also drink a minimum of 1 gallon of water per day. Since starting Revolt I have lost 30 lbs. and finally got over my plateau. I absolutely love it! 

When I asked Jenni about her favorite milestones, she had quite the extensive list:

  -Making it through a Zumba class without dying

  -Having to take TWO Zumba classes in a row just to feel like she'd worked out

  -Discovering she could run three miles without stopping

  -Getting into the 140's after not having been there for nine years

  -Trying on a size 8 thinking it would be too tight and finding out she needed a 6

  -Realizing she'd NEVER been a size 6 before

  -Being comfortable in a bathing suit at the public pool

  -Weighing less than her husband

  -Being approached at the gym by people noticing her results

Jenni says that her life has improved in nearly every way imaginable because of the changes she's made.

... first of all I feel so much better. I was having so many health problems that have completely disappeared. I have energy, I sleep better, my skin is better, my hair isn’t falling out in chunks, I’m happier, my monthly cycle is regular and my PMS symptoms are not nearly as horrendous as they used to be (TMI?) I can finally shop at any clothing shop and know that the clothes will fit me instead of having to avoid certain places. I’m a better mother and wife, because I’m happy and healthy. I have met so many amazing people and made lifelong friends from Zumba classes, the gym, and Revolt Fitness. 

Along the way, there were many times she wanted to give up due to discouragement.  She fell off the wagon many, many times.  She even halfway confesses to binging on an entire container of chocolate covered cinnamon bears when her kids were stressing her out.  

Hey, who hasn't?  Right?  Right?  

Her advice for anyone wanting to make changes?

1.  Slow and steady.  Start slowly if you need to.   Just START.

2.  Quitters never win.  Discouragement is no friend to anyone who's ever tried to lose weight and get healthy, but it happens to the best - and worst - of us.  

3.  Make it a habit.  Do it even when you don't want to.  Skip the donut even when you don't want to.  Set the alarm for 5 a.m. even when you don't want to.  This sets a routine that eventually becomes a habit.  

4.  Consistency.  Worry less about the scale and more about keeping your routine day in and day out.  Consistent effort will bring results over time.  It's taken Jenni nearly three years to get where she is now, and she's still going.  Give yourself credit for doing the right things and make those things a part of who you are, rather than just something you'll do until you reach a magic number on the scale. If you live by the scale, you'll die by it, and so will your efforts.  

5.  No comparison.  Don't compare your success or your timing or your looks to those around you.  There will always be someone who's lost more weight or who looks better in a bikini than you do.  Get over it.  Jenni says:  How can we properly care for a body we don’t love? Learn to love your body, and taking care of it will start to come naturally. Easier said than done, I know, but I really believe this to be true.

6.  Ask for help.  Jenni has been amazed at how willing people were to help when they saw that she was serious about getting healthy.  The friends she made were willing to help her and train her because they genuinely care and want to help people.  She never paid for a nutritionist or a single training session and is extremely thankful for the generosity of her gym friends who went above and beyond to help her succeed.

Jenni's still working on her fitness goals, but she's thrilled with the new life she's enjoying because of the great progress she's made.  She has energy to play with her kids and to throw on a bathing suit and swim with them rather than hiding under a towel on the deck.  

And I'll add:  She looks hot!  

Thanks for the inspiration and words of wisdom, cousin Jenni ... and for making me crave chocolate covered cinnamon bears.  

For more information on Revolt Fitness, visit their site at http://revoltnowfitness.com.

Transformation Tuesday

I like to surf fitness and weight loss sites and blogs in search of success stories to motivate and inspire me.  It occurred to me one day last week that there are people all around me - REAL, breathing people who actually know my name and even go to lunch with me sometimes - who have had tremendous success and whose transformations are like something straight out of a 2 a.m. "no way that's not Photoshopped" infomercial.

But Photoshopped they are not.  These folks are the real deal.  And pretty much amazing.

So I came up with the brilliant idea of sharing their stories with you, in hopes that everyone, myself included, can learn from them and absorb even a tiny smidge of their persevering spirits.

I just know you're going to love this first one as much as I do.  She's my hero.  And just a gem of a human.  I want to be her when I grow up.

Nikki W.
Highest Weight:  198
Current Weight:  133
Height:  5'10"
Total lost:  65


ENOUGH IS ENOUGH

Before getting married and having babies, Nikki had been fit, active, and athletic.  With each pregnancy, she gained some weight that  just didn't come off.  As she approached the 200 pound mark, she started to notice how she was feeling and didn't like it.  She became "that" mom:  the one who only wore sweats because trying on new clothes was too depressing; the one who dreaded putting on a swimsuit and heading to the pool with her kids; the one who no longer enjoyed date nights with her husband because she never felt attractive;  the one who "ruined" all the family pictures.

The unhappy one.

"I was done with all the emotional, mental, and physical crap that consumed my life for way too long. I wanted to start living! I wanted it SO BADLY that I looked at it as a challenge. I never fully believed all those before and after pictures of people. I thought it was struly impossible to transform in that way. So I started to wonder if it really was possible and challenged myself to find out."

At around 200 pounds

 IF AT FIRST YOU DON'T SUCCEED

Like a lot of us, Nikki had a library of books and DVDs on the subject of weight loss.  She read and watched all of them.  Over the course of about 10 years, she would lose 20 pounds here and there, but would then turn around and gain it back because, as she says, she just didn't want it enough to stick to making the right choices when the temptations came along in the form of parties, holidays, birthdays, and so on.  Or, as some of us like to call it, "real life."

Losing weight and dealing with life's everyday temptations are just hard.  Really hard.  But anyone who knows Nikki knows she's no quitter.  This girl's got serious determination.   That fat didn't stand a chance.

Knowing she had tried and faltered in the past, Nikki decided to hire trainers and a nutritionist to help with accountability and support.  She acknowledges that not everyone has the money to spend for that kind of help.

"Because I wanted it so badly and knew that I tried on my own and wasn't able to do it, I reached out for help. I needed people to be accountable to and who would push me harder than I would ever push myself.  I looked at it as making an investment in myself. I can spend money on doctors and blood tests and pills to keep me going through life or I can spend money to gain knowledge about how I can take care of myself and my family for a lifetime. I know not everyone has the resources or money to spend. A lot of people do it on their own. It is honestly just a matter of learning everything you can about it and sticking to it no matter what."

SOMETHING CLICKED

Once Nikki got the help she needed and made up her mind to be successful, there was no stopping her.  No excuses.

"I did total body strength training three times per week and HIIT (high intensity interval training) four times per week. I worked out a total of an hour a day but made those workouts really count. The most important thing I ever did was stick (very strictly) to my meal plans. When I say strictly, I'm talking I would take my home cooked meal in a Tupperware container out to a restaurant with my family or friends and eat it cold while they ordered warm, good smelling food. That is how bad you have to want it. I can honestly say that I never cheated and that made all the difference. The beauty of it was that I still had cake, ice cream, cookies and chocolate without cheating! It is all about balance."

Nikki's diet consists of foods like oatmeal with almond milk, fruit, egg whites, brown rice, lean protein, veggies, and sweet potatoes, to name a few.  Some of her favorite snack foods include greek yogurt, beef jerky, almonds, and cottage cheese.  She treats herself to one cheat meal and one dessert every week to keep from feeling deprived.

SLOW BUT STEADY

Nikki says she gave herself a year to get it all figured out.  Her weight loss was slow and consistent, an average of about two pounds per week.  She wanted a lifestyle change and not a quick fix that would end in her resorting back to old, unhealthy habits.

"I wanted to know what it was like to eat healthy through all the seasons of life:  holidays, summer barbecues, vacations, parties, etc.  Slowly over the months, two pounds turned into 10, then 20, then 50, etc.  I just kept chugging along day after day.  Seeing those consistent results made me want to work harder and keep being strict with my food. It was working and still giving me the energy I needed. I was learning that healthy food was my friend and started looking at it differently. It was the necessary fuel to keep my body working hard and feeling happy. I was finally succeeding in not just losing weight, but feeling alive and happy again."

SMALL VICTORIES

Nikki, who recently completed her first Ironman triathlon, still has fond memories of all of her sweet little victories along the way.

The first time she ran for five whole minutes.
Her first 5k.
The first time she was able to do 20 "man push-ups."
Tossing the leftover birthday cake into the trash.
Finding her abs.

And then there was that day she started to believe in herself.

"Every little small victory (another pound gone, another mile run, another treat turned away) added a spark to my fire and I believed I could do anything now. So I set out for my biggest accomplishment yet....to become an Ironman .... I still feel like I am in a dream. That it's not really real. That is until I look at a picture taken of me or I walk by a mirror and then the reality of all my hard work is right there. There is a difference in being prideful and proud, and I am honestly very proud of myself. I didn't think I had it in me. But I did. We all do if we want it badly enough. I can walk into a store and fit in anything. It's not a matter of 'Will that fit me?' but  'Do I like that style?'  I like to dress up now and go out on a hot date with my husband. I am teaching my kids how to eat healthy and they are developing new habits. But more importantly, I don't let my kids say they 'can't' do something.  No matter how hard it seems to them, I make them figure out a way that they CAN do it."

YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST

I wanted to know if Nikki had any encouraging words for those of us still struggling to get healthy once and for all.

She didn't disappoint.  I KNEW she wouldn't.

"Be patient with yourself and love yourself through the process. The healthiest way will not be the fastest. Allow yourself the time to get to where you want to be. Decide how bad you want it.  Do you want it as badly as you want to breathe?  If you do, then you need to make NO EXCUSES whatsoever...zip, zero, zilch, nada! Reach out for help if you can.  It will most definitely be hard. I like the quote, 'Being Fat is Hard, Losing Weight is Hard.  Choose your Hard.'  That is exactly what you have to do. Choose which hard you want to face and face it head on. Don't ever let anyone (especially yourself) tell you that you can't do it, because that is simply not true!

It is about loving yourself and appreciating your body. It is so important to be kind to yourself and to take time for yourself.  Your bodies and your spirit will thank you by showing you exactly what they - YOU - are made of."

Nikki has shown EVERYONE what she's made of and is inspiring those around her with her positive attitude, her phenomenal success, and her beautiful spirit.

I don't know about you, but I can't wait to see what she does next.

Nikki works out with Zackie the evil personal trainer

Nikki's invaluable support team:

Zac at Energy Explosion:  http://energyexplosion.biz
Greg at Elevate Triathlon Training http://elevateutah.com/triathlon-training/
Lindsey at Moxie Full Body Fitness http://moxiefullbody.com

And let's not forget three adoring children and her "hot biker/runner/swimmer dude" husband who are always there cheering her on to her next victory.

Care Bears Can Do Hard Things

A couple of weeks ago, my oldest was having one of those teenage girl moments where she needed to unload on me about all the things she hates about her life.

I'm a mom.  I can take it.  I get that little girls, with all their hormones and mood swings and limited perspectives sometimes just hate their lives.  As she rattled off her list of grievances at 6:30 a.m on a Monday morning, I started feeling very uncomfortable with the conversation.  I was very concerned about all the negativity she seemed to be channeling.  I let her finish getting things off her chest, then proceeded to try and impart of my motherly wisdom regarding stuff like positive thoughts, being grateful for what we have, how attitudes affect outcomes, yadda yadda yadda.

And then ... BAM!

I got hit with a different kind of uncomfortable feeling.  This time, it was the kind that comes in the form of a loud voice that screams mean, hateful things in your ears:  "Who are YOU to be giving this advice?  Where do you think this attitude of hers is coming from?  You need to learn to take your own advice, lady."

Ouchie.

This subject weighed heavily on my mind for the rest of the day.  I'd had many a passing thought over the past months about my sarcastic tendencies and how they affect my overall psyche, but more specifically how those tendencies may be hindering my efforts to make positive changes to my body.  But when I see my sweet little girl struggling because of her own negativity, and realize that I'm the biggest influence in her life, it's time to have more than just the occasional passing thought about it.  It's time to DO something.

That night, we gathered for our family night and, using the scriptures and a WHOLE LOTTA quotes about being positive, I tried to help my little family see why it's so important to carry a good attitude with us in all the things we face every day, and how doing so just makes everything easier and better.  This lesson was for me more than anyone else in that room. The discussion went well, and when it was over, I went around the house with all of those positive quotes I'd printed out and stuck them on the walls in various places all over our home so that we would have constant reminders everywhere we go.  Bathroom mirrors, hallways, family room, kitchen cabinets, everywhere. Our home is now filled with happy thoughts everywhere you turn - sort of like a miniature Disneyland minus the awesome rides and parades and churros.

My daughter's momentary meltdown helped me to see that I have a load of emotional crap I need to deal with and that all the nutritious food and fat-melting workouts in the world aren't going to do a thing for me until I get out of my own way.  I've been very conscious these last couple of weeks about the thoughts I entertain and I've noticed just how much I really do focus on negative garbage.  I have a lot of work to do.

And then, this morning ...

I visited a Facebook friend's page to discover that he and I were no longer "friends."  I sent him a message asking about it, and he informed me that he had to unfriend me because, while he loved my humorous posts, my everyday life seemed to be mixed with too much negativity.

Ouchie.

I cried.  Not because I thought his words were mean-spirited or intentionally hurtful, but because he was right.  I've known it for a while, but to hear it from another human is quite the poke in the eye.

I learned to use sarcasm at a very young age as a self defense mechanism.  I've been the fat kid for as long as I can remember, which made me the target for every bully from elementary to junior high to high school ... and even beyond.  I think I subconsciously figured out that if I showed people my fangs first (in the form of snark), they'd think twice about messing with me.  It worked, sorta.  My sarcasm has been my armor.  My preemptive strike.

Most people may think that being more positive is a really simple thing to do - something you can just decide to do and do it.  But for me, changing my attitude means changing who I've always been.  Who I've always been is someone who, if I do say so myself, a lot of people like.  I know not everyone loves and appreciates sarcasm the way that I do, but I know there are people who love that about me.  I'm afraid that if I shed that, I'll somehow lose my identity and maybe even lose what makes me likable to the people who like me.  Since this blog is all about finding courage, let me just say that that notion scares the dog snot out of me.

When I try to sit down and write positive thoughts or affirmations, I'm almost tempted to mock myself for doing it.  "What are you, some kind of unicorn-riding, rainbow-sliding, cotton candy-eating Care Bear?"  That's how foreign this is to me.

Yet, I know this needs to happen.  My thought process has to change.  I have to keep repeating and start believing all those warm and fuzzy little quotes I've put up around my house:

I can do hard things.
You believe what you tell yourself.
You can't live a positive life with a negative mind.
The only disability in life is a bad attitude. 
Being happy is good for my health.
I can and I will.
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.

Is it bad that that last one with the snark is my favorite?

I'm a work in progress, people.  A work in progress.

Thoughts From an Imperfect Mother

While I've dedicated this blog to chronicling my weight loss efforts (or lack thereof?), there's something on my mind that I feel is worthy of a momentary subject change.  And since I know that most of those who follow this blog are moms, it seems relevant and hopefully even useful.

Something’s bothering the mother in me.  I’m a little concerned about my fellow mommies.  In my Pinterest browsing earlier today, I ran across a few blog titles that did not sit well with me.  A few examples:

5 Things You Should Never Say to Your Kids

10 Ways to Be a Better Mom Every Day
Most Common Mom Mistakes

99 Reasons You Suck as a Parent

I may have made that last one up for the purpose of exaggerating my point.

The questions that pop into my brain as I see more and more of these types of “informative” and “helpful” articles are, “Who ARE these people?” and “Why do we so willingly believe that they know more than we do about the best way to raise our own children?”  I find many of these parenting advice posts to be condescending to me as a mother and insulting to me as a semi-intelligent human.

Bad parenting?  Not for me to say.

We all have our own ideas about how children should be raised.  I certainly don't fault anyone for putting those ideas in writing and sharing them with others, especially since that's pretty much what I'm doing by writing this post.  My bigger concern is that we seem to be almost desperately seeking out these types of posts and … gasp … pinning them.  Sharing them.  Relying on them.  Allowing them to feed on our psyches like little joy-sucking leaches.   It's as if we're losing all faith in our own abilities to love and nurture our children.

I want moms to stop doubting themselves.  I want them to trust that inner voice – the one that only we moms hear - that speaks to them from moment to moment, from morning ‘til night, day in and day out.  I want them to believe that the immense love they feel for their children will guide them in the decisions that really matter, because nobody on this Earth knows the hearts and minds of their little ones the way they do.  I want them to quit stressing over saying the wrong things and just be grateful that their voices, even when they say the wrong things (and they will sometimes) are the ones their children want to hear first thing every morning and last thing at night.  I want them to stop focusing on the ways they fall short as mothers (and they will sometimes) and start focusing on the small joys they bring to their childrens’ lives each day just by clocking in.

Want to know how to be a better mom?  Get on your knees and ask the Lord.  Follow His example.  Listen to His promptings. Then ask your KIDS what they need from you.  That blogger chick who lives four states away, who has never met you or your children, doesn’t know the first thing about what YOU can do to be a better mom to them. Their little souls were entrusted to YOU for a reason.  They are yours to know and to love and to cherish and yes, even to screw up a little. I guarantee you that if you say one of those dreaded “5 things” from that list up there, your kids will be OK.  They’ll recover.  They’ll still love you.  They won’t grow up to be ax murderers or guests on Jerry Springer. 

I personally didn’t bother to click on that silly pin and follow the link.  Why?  What good will it do?  Will I most likely end up letting one of those five things slip at some point, even if I DO read the article and become more enlightened?  Yep.  And then what?  With my newly-acquired enlightenment about what I'm doing wrong, I’ll feel guilty about it until I’m losing sleep and signing us all up for therapy to undo the damage I’ve done to my poor little future felons.   I don’t need that extra guilt-induced stress in my life.   I generate enough of that on my own without any help from complete strangers, thankyouverymuch.

Each of us has all the tools we need to be “better” moms every day.  No blog post or list is going to make our kids feel more loved or needed or special than we already know how to do on our own.  A mother's love for her children transcends every book, every magazine article, every how-to tutorial she can ever read during her career as a parent.

There’s a little voice that is lovingly whispering to you that your children are blessed to have you, but it’s being drowned out by a know-it-all world that screams at you from all sides:  “Your best is not enough. You can be doing more.  You are going to ruin your kids.”  But, as the saying goes, your children don’t need you to be perfect.  They just need YOU.  Gloriously, marvelously, laughably imperfect YOU.

You’re the only mom they’ve got.  And yes, that’s a good thing, despite what Suzy the Expert Mom Blogger from Des Moines says to the contrary.